Miraculous Freedom

What’s something embarrassing you’ve cried over recently? I’ll go first. 

My husband went back to work last Wednesday after a fun summer of togetherness, and…I may or may not have felt the odd sensation of moisture in my eyes as he gave me a tight hug goodbye. What really put the nail in the coffin, though, was his dramatic pause to look back at me holding our one year old as he stepped through the threshold, almost as if he’d changed his mind about leaving, only to announce the obvious: “This is hard.” 

Transitions are hard. I know you know.  

Feeling ridiculous for having tears pool in my eyes as I realized the summer with the three of us was over in an instant, I told my daughter we were going to get ready for the day and take a stroller ride somewhere new. I had a choice in that moment: be a victim of my circumstances and mope, or do something fun and engaging with my toddler, who didn’t quite grasp what was happening but also had the potential to be sad from missing her daddy as the day went on (#daddysgirl #bigtime). 

In the past, I regrettably had chosen the former, admittedly because I hadn’t taken the time to prepare my heart for the upcoming transition, and let’s face it: my initial reaction to sadness and change isn’t to choose joy and cultivate gratitude. It’s to let my circumstances overtake me and wallow. For a reason unbeknownst to me, times of transition–times when I crave more stability–are the times I allow distance to creep in between God and me. Somehow when I get the slightest inkling of sadness or anxiety due to shifting circumstances, my first instinct isn’t to run to God; it’s to put walls up, if I’m not careful. It’s to pretend I’m not bothered, I’ve got everything under control, and to loudly proclaim to myself like Ross Geller: “I’m FINE! Everything is FINE!!!”

Now you see why I am careful, and why I had intentionally connected with God before my husband went back to work for the school-year last week.

With the two of us being teachers at two different schools with two different academic calendars, our home rhythms change eight times a year. And if that math isn’t mathing, it’s when: he goes back to school, I go back to school, I go on a break, and he goes on a break x 2 (because of the two semesters). Years ago, I was warned before the enormous transition of moving overseas that strongholds, vices, or insecurities are only intensified during a transition; many people enter a new stage of life assuming that these will simply vanish and are surprised when the opposite happens. In order to heed that warning, I’ve committed to avoiding neglecting my relationship with God during times of change, which would leave room for my struggles to get the best of me.

Here’s What’s Worked for Me: 

1. Creating a plan of how and when I’m going to spend time with the Lord. In this stage of life, it’s best for me (notice, I said “me”! find out what works for YOU!) to wake up before my daughter to have a few uninterrupted moments with God. Sometimes I have to stop early because she wakes up sooner than expected, and other times I linger and may even get some things done; I’ve learned to be grateful for any amount of time I have, which begins with writing in my prayer journal. Each page has a gratitude section at the top, and I’ve discovered that starting this special time with God with a heart of gratitude, even when I don’t feel grateful, helps me approach His throne with humility. I then ask God if there’s a specific scripture He wants me to read, or I work on a Bible study lesson.
2. Ensuring I engage my heart with God & don’t just going through the motions. Once I’ve made my plan, I guard against distractions during that time (I don’t touch my phone until later in the morning) and am intentional about connecting with God as I journal and read His word. This may mean I read less so that I can deeply process what I’m reading, and that’s ok.
3. Choosing to remember God and connect with Him throughout the day…especially when I feel like things are about to go sideways. If I find myself feeling frustrated or even tired, I not only ask God to help me through it, but I ask Him to reveal why I’m feeling that way if it’s not obvious. God knows the answer to every problem, and He wants to help us; after all, He is our Jehovah Ezer. 

In the moments that could easily lead to stress and chaos due to shifting circumstances, I’ve learned that instead of pretending I’m fine, trying to handle things on my own, and allowing myself to disconnect from God, a better way to approach this is to lean in, persevere, and draw near to Him. Remember, He promises to draw near to us when we do so (James 4:8a). 

So that’s why I decided to get out of the house that morning my husband went back to work. I felt a gentle nudge from God, inviting me to engage with Him and my daughter outside, in a way that would set the tone for the following weeks of just the two of us. While the day wasn’t perfect, my heart posture was one of rest and peace. And I’ll take peace over perfection any day of the week! 

As you prepare for your next transition, even if it seems small, like sending your kids back to school or dusting off your homeschool binder, I encourage you to ask God what you can implement (or keep doing) to stay anchored to Him throughout the change. Sit down with your journal or take a walk and ask God:

How do You want to prepare me for this upcoming transition?

What will you reach for when your circumstances shift? What will keep you grounded when everything around you is changing?

Thankfully, if you have Jesus, your soul has an Anchor. You have stability. You have a Rock that cannot be shaken.

When everything around you is changing, don’t reach for the waves to try to control them. Don’t reach for your phone to try to self-soothe. Reach for the Anchor of your soul. He will not disappoint you.

P.S. I would love to pray for you during any upcoming transitions. Feel free to drop a comment or send me an email (charlsie@miraculousfreedom.com).

P.P.S. I’d also love to hear any different ways you’ve found helpful to stay connected to God during transitions! Let’s leave comments below so others can get more ideas!